As I’m going through my phone photos say hello to my deskmate, Lady Gargar.
diet coke you do not belong in my lungs
Expo, 32, freelance film and video editor and professional nerd living in the Pacific northwest.
This is the greatest thing I’ve seen all day.
I see that both Oft and Stalkingbit are playing Mass Effect now.
System Shock 2 is now available on Steam. On sale for $6.99 (down from $9.99)!
Old and outdated graphics? Yes. Creepy storytelling and RPG FPSing done right? Yes. Bad ending? Also yes, but still better than what happened with Bioshock Infinite. (Ha HAAAAAAohhhI made myself sad.) Okay, maybe not. But if you loved the Bioshock series, you should at least play the game that helped give it its name.
Think I’m wrong? Buy it, play it, then tell me why.
While not a perfect game, it’s still one of my all time favorites, and one that probably ruined my life in oh-so many ways. How can YOU challenge a perfect, immortal machine, kids?
YO SYSTEM SHOCK 2 IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE GAMES EVER PLEASE PLAY IT
No trust me you guys you want to play this game.
spiky haired weeb with a katane creeps on a girl and gets wrapped up in a stupid time travel cascade and collects a bunch of fucking dangerous weirdos to save the world
Collect blocks. Place blocks. Collect more blocks. Do you think you’ve collected and placed enough blocks? Wrong. Collect blocks and place blocks. Sometimes collect thing that comes from block.
it doesn’t even tell you where to go and everything fucking kills you
your not-girlfriend dies in the first 5 minutes and somebody steals your sort of-kid and you get blamed for it but somebody else breaks you out and then a condescending floating lovecraft wizard gives you magic powers and is like ‘sure do something with them or don’t i don’t really care’
you spend the whole game getting betrayed and having no agency
the only thing you’re good at is murdering people in lots of interesting ways as a fucked up victorian lovecraft wizard but you’re not allowed to do that or else everyone is an awful person and your sort of-kid grows up to be awful
0/10 would not play
plus the condescending floating lovecraft wizard is too fucking hot
you fight gigantic hellish monsters with a gang of absolute crazies for the better part of five years — two of which you were FUCKING DEAD — and all you have to show for it is this
You play a glorified mall cop and your dog is dead and your girlfriend is dead because you got beat up by hillbilly punk, and you have to wait a lot in cramped spaces because you’re afraid of confrontation. At least you can shoot explosives out of your arms, but you didn’t ask for it. Oh, and you live in Detroit.
You’re one of a variety of interchangeable would-be heroes. A bunch of obvious ripoffs of orcs and goblins are invading the countryside and doing the oh-so-typical rape-and-destroy act. You were going about living your life (of lesser or greater privilege and douchebaggery) until suddenly a convenient disaster strikes your life and you wind up having to either joining the secret order which fights the orc-ripoffs or die. Then you get epically hazed by the order in a super-traumatic ceremony which supplies you with all the issues you need in order to meet a tragic end someday. After that you spend the rest of the game trying to convince a bunch of recalcitrant douchebags to believe the world is ending and thus help you, developing an enormous savior complex, and putting enough Nice Guy Tokens into the Romance Subplot Machine to get your romanceable party members to put out.
Shoot, y’all, you’re thinking too small. You need to go nihilist with this shit! *clears throat*
You sit on your ass and stare at a screen covered in colored points of light and emitting soundwaves, and you spend the next few hours trying to make DIFFERENT colored points of light and soundwaves.
When you win, you get special soundwaves and colored points of light, and for a moment you feel triumphant, until you realize that it’s just random electrical signals in your slowly dying meatsack.
And this is your entire life.
(hey, no fair. Going meta is cheating. Also depressing.)
You kill animals, then take the animal parts and make better animal killing stuff.
This is the whole game.
My favorite game is about science, but it’s really shitty science with far too many interfering variables to draw anything resembling statistically valid conclusions. Also, despite what the bitchy project administrator claims I am pretty sure the experiment also has an insufficient sample size. Eventually I got to kill her, except apparently I didn’t? Worst game ever. Gives kids entirely the wrong idea about the importance of the scientific method. Do not play. Eat some fucking cake instead.
Dude goes around stealing culturally significant items. Sells them for profit. Lies about his identity, gets married and chooses obsession over wife, drags best friend with him on adventures only to almost kill him at every term. Oh and sneaks around with an old flame for a few months before telling the person he supposedly cares about where he is. No biggie.
Rag tag group of people fight a evil corporation destroying the planet, wind up going against some other dude trying to destroy the planet somewhere along the way some bitch gets stabbed. World gets jacked up anyway but everyone lives in the shitty world.
- Some blond dude with multiple personality problems plays with some girly guy’s balls, and the girly guy summons a big rock, but whirly thingies destroy the rock cause some chick prays to some balls.
- Some adopted dude has to save his love interest/sister from an evil pig sorcerer.
- Some kid gets a random headache from setting people on fire and that causes people’s heads go explodey when he walks passed them
- Pill-popping Plumber
- Space Navy Officer saves the world against giant metal cicadas while pretending to be a Poke’mon trainer and catching one of all the Alien species in the galaxy.
You wake up from a coma and have to fight your way out of a creepy abandoned facility, all the while being mocked by a psychotic AI.
(I bet you were going to guess “Portal”, weren’t you.)
Three legendary birds.
Pokemon Moltres, Zapdos and Articuno. Always loved these guys and they just aren’t appreciated much anymore with so many ledgendaries about.
Pretty much just testing out different drawing techniques in Artrage 4. Hopefully I got their character and personalities through with the medium.
Mass Effect, or: The Xenophilia You Never Knew You Were Repressing
I should note that I mean absolutely no disrespect to anyone following me who actually does like Ashley Williams. YMMV, chacun a son gout, etc!
I just think she’s a racist hobag and I was delighted at the chance to ditch her permanently on Virmire. >_>